Walking in Faith

I didn't realize until someone brought it up that I haven't posted since my last one. Well the "waiting" continued for quite awhile longer.

After going through continued stress and anxiety with my job it was decided in January that I would leave in May to stay home full time. This had been a life long desire of mine and over the last 10 years of our marriage God slowly worked through us regarding this topic. I clung to "he will give you the desires of your heart" the whole time. Although we decided in January that I would leave, I had to still endure until May which after the chapter I had already gone through, seemed like an eternity. With April promising to be busier that we had been in a year, I was not looking forward to that last 2 months of work.

Little did we know God had a different plan in mind. In this case, I'm so grateful God's timing is perfect. March 6th is truly a day that changed our lives in many ways. Long story short. I was experiencing some extremely bad abdominal cramping and bleeding so we went to the ER as I knew something was not normal. 8 hours in the ER, a surgery and 48 hours in the hospital we discovered I had been pregnant with an Ectopic Pregnancy. This was all surprising and a lot to take in as I didn't know I was pregnant. It was strange and surreal. To find out you are pregnant and then in the next moment know you can't possibly carry the baby was a lot to take in. I was in survival mode and everything happened to fast I didn't really process any of this until it was all over and I was home.

We decided in the hospital that this was all just a bit much to take after the season we had gone through. When you are dealing with life and death, it's amazing how clear things become. Since recovery was going to be a couple of weeks, it was decided that I would not return to my job. It was truly a blessing in disguise. I absolutely love staying home. I haven't felt this content in years! Evan loves coming home to a clean, happy and warm home. On a side note. We had just spent all of February moving into a new home that belonged to Evan's Grandparents and was recently completely renovated. Another one of God's amazing blessings.

Going through the surgery and the loss of a pregnancy eventually hit and we both have been able to mourn but also felt God's grace and comfort through it all. Not knowing I was pregnant helped as I obviously didn't emotionally get attached for days, weeks or months. However, knowing you had a life growing in you and having no choice but to end it was and is still something I'm processing. We are content to be where we are at and feel extremely blessed and grateful for Alek and how easy the pregnancy with him went. We are not in a rush to get pregnant again and with my Doctor's urging are actually preventing again to give my body time to heal and recover.

We aren't quite sure what this next chapter brings for us and our family. I would be content if nothing big or life changing happened for awhile. I just want to "be" and experience life with my family. God has taught us so much the last 2 years and especially the last couple of weeks. He has become Lord of our lives more so than ever before. We are walking in Faith as financially we are in a new chapter. We've seen God take us through the dark and into the light. All the time he protected and blessed us in ways we never expected.

Right now I am overjoyed to do laundry, clean the house, cook and spend time with Alek. I know God brought us through every single thing so that this moment in time for me to stay home would be perfect. Oh how sweet it truly is.